Title: I now pronounce you man and owl
Author: meidowaifu
Pairing: RyukXL, LightXL
Summary: L and Light are married and Light being the nice guy that he is has decided to buy L a pet owl to look after. L becomes fascinated with his new pet and begins to copy its movements whilst an uninvited Ryuk watches on the sidelines.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Death Note so no suing! T^T
Comments: Right! This is the first in my mega super special awesome challenge! I hope its mildly good! Comments are appreciated gaiz <3



L and Light had been happily married for a few months now, much to the surprise of the entire task force. L had become quite the little housewife that is if Light didn’t mind being served cake dripped with icing and chocolate sundae’s covered in strawberries every evening. Light, the obvious husband in the relationship had gone to work with his briefcase in hand and a lunch that L had prepared for him in the other, the usual chocolate spread sandwiches and layers upon layers of cake. The brunette of course never ate the lunch made with his wife’s apparent ‘love’ and simply tossed it in the garbage on the way to the police force.

Light was not entirely cruel though and had decided to buy L a pet to look after whilst he was away, unfortunately for him choosing a goldfish had been the wrong decision. When he came home he found the goldfish bowl filled with cream cakes and doughnuts along with a very dead fish floating at the top of the water. Light had tried several different pets, hoping that L would learn his lesson but some horrible mishap always seemed to occur when he came back. He had also brought a dog and gradually noticed it gaining weight at an alarming rate until eventually its legs shattered, unable to support its own fat and it simply crawled across the floor. L didn’t seem to understand that feeding it sweets and pastries all the time would damage its health even when the dog keeled over, struggling to breathe and finally choking on a piece of éclair it gave up its miserable existence. Light had finally found the perfect pet, it seemed to have lasted longer, he had given L careful instructions upon feeding it and reminded him NEVER to give it anything with slight sugar content. Light had brought him an owl, a rather fitting creature for the detective, they both looked so alike that it was almost scary. So far L seemed to be fascinated with the creature and sometimes Light couldn’t help but feel jealous as the dark haired male stared at it relentlessly for hours upon end.

His husband had gone to work quiet a while ago, so L had been left to himself. Light had told him off repeatedly for his attire, yelling that the neighbours would think their household was indecent. L honestly couldn’t see what was wrong with it, he didn’t like to get his normal clothes dirty so he had taken them off, a logical idea. Instead he wore a pink frilly apron, the straps pulled over his bony shoulders as the bottom part that was in a frilly heart shape covered his lower half. As he turned his back to fiddle around on the counter most people would get the shock of their lives, his flat buttocks was bare as he carelessly moved around the kitchen, to him the entire thing made perfect sense and he saw no problem with it at all. He poked at the cream of a giant chocolate sundae he had made, sucking at the top of his finger until he finally turned around to the rattling cage. He stared at the winged bird, transfixed as its large eyes gazed at him and its feathers flapped elegantly. L took a step closer, examining the animal with a fixed gaze as it began to turn its head to the side. The pale skinned male copied the movement., cocking his head in the same manner then moving it to the other side when the creature did the same. His large, dark rimmed eyes widened slightly to mimic the owls as he spread his arms and moved them back and forth to follow the birds flapping movements.

Little did the male know that he was not alone in the small house, he did not know that a set of yellow eyes had been fixed on him intently the entire time. It was only when a small cackle echoed in the kitchen that L stopped his arms in mid flap and turned his gaunt flame to stare in the noises general direction, his eyes still big like the owls. Ryuk usually went with Light every morning but he had been given instructions to stay behind and keep a close eye on Ryuuzaki, to make sure that no sweet items touched the birds beak. “Heh heh…you really are an interesting human” Ryuk commented, his large lips upturned into a large almost goofy grin. L sighed softly, not at all amused by the situation “Why are you here Ryuk? Don’t you usually follow Light-kun around?” he replied coolly as he dropped a metal spoon into his sundae and scooped a large portion of cream, pushing the spoon into his mouth with two fingers.

“Ah…Light…He told me to watch you and make sure you didn’t kill the new pet” he replied, seeing no point in lying to the other. “I don’t see why I’m the one responsible for their deaths…” he answered with a small shrug as he shuffled over to the fridge, ignoring his fresh sundae completely. Ryuk let out another crackled laugh, his voice like sandpaper as he floated behind the strange male. He rather liked watching the other, simply because he was a weird and unpredictable sort of person and following Light to work and watching him doing boring things had begun to tire the shinigami. His eyes sparkled slightly, nostrils flaring to life at the item perched in L’s long fingers, a delicious smelling apple pie.

L noticed the death god eyeing up his sugared creation “This is for Light-kun…” he said slowly, careful with his words as he placed the baked item upon the marble counter. He knew his husband would be back soon and so he had decided to take it out and cut a slice in preparation for the others arrival. L gave Ryuk a warning look, noticing a line of drool coming from the creatures mouth he had to stop himself from shuddering. He took out a small cutting knife, slicing through the pastry and into the thick apple filling, making a perfect triangle as the scent of brambly apples filled the air. L let out a small gasp, too slow to react as Ryuk was suddenly there, hovering about him as clawed hands tried to grab at the pie. L picked up a plastic fly swatter, slapping at others the skin “Bad shinigami!” he said firmly as he tried to defend his precious confection.

Ryuk made a sad noise, sniffing loudly as mucus ran back up into his nose, he curled foreword and began to float away, sulking like a child. L’s expression softened slightly “Alright Ryuk you can have a little bit…but don’t tell Light-kun…” he said, placing a finger against his own lip. Ryuk’s expression brightened immediately and he bounced over like an excited puppy, waiting obediently and nodding so he could get to taste that delicious apple. L began to cut a separate piece, a small slither then grabbed for a plate to place it on. He lifted the food upwards, fingers wobbling slightly as he accidentally dropped a large goop of it onto his chest, he muttered curses for wasting good food but had little time to dwell on such matters.

A clawed hand wrapped around his arm, pushing him back against the hard counter until he felt the cool sensation of leather between his bare legs. His eyes stared up fearfully at Ryuk, unsure of how to react in this situation as he felt the death grip against his arm. He shuddered, feeling the sensation of Ryuk’s rough, moist tongue against his skin as he licked happily at his chest, lapping up the cooked apple juice. L’s eyebrow twitched, biting down on his lip as Ryuk teased the start of his nipple, licking down the apple trail and simply unaware of what his ministrations were doing to the smaller male.

“L, I’m back!” a voice called, the sound of shoes being tugged off was heard in the hallway before Light’s face surfaced in the doorway. His mouth hung open at the site he was greeted with, his wife sprawled against the kitchen surface with Ryuk buried between his legs. “What are you some kind of nymphomaniac!? I can’t leave you alone with someone for a few hours? Even an undead one!” he shouted, his face a picture of rage. “Ryuk! Go to your room! You’ll be getting no apples for a week!” he snapped, his eyes furrowing on the shinigami as he slowly crawled off of L, having eaten all of the pie on his skin. “B-but Light-” he started “OUT!” Light almost roared and the death god quickly made his escape so he could cower in the dog kennel outside that had belonged to the recently deceased ‘Rover’.

“And as for you L…We have some serious talking to do in the bedroom…” he growled the words with venom as he yanked the detective over his shoulder and stomped up the stairs, L’s fists beating against his back.